Monday, April 5, 2010
Earlier today I sat in my dining room staring at unfinished things, just piled there on the table. And I felt defeated. I felt not good enough. I felt silly that I thought that all of this could work. I felt naive that simple determination and perserverence would make it all happen, in time. Today, my glass is half empty.
I feel as if I keep pouring all my energy into forging a "dream" life...yet I am exhausted. My body, mind and spirit are crying "STOP". Hence the cold. I look at my designs and ask, why are they not flying off the shelves...am I really that disillusioned? Could be. So I have given it my best shot. I have even started a bath and body line due out very soon. Yet, I am here thinking that I have just wasted the past three years and boatloads of money to be here, right now...still not where I want to be.
Have I made a mistake? Miscalculated my direction? Been swayed to think that what I was doing was better than it really was? Are people just too kind to not tell me the truth?
Maybe I'm just tired.
I think that I should take a nap.